June 28, 2023
FILM: YOU HURT MY FEELINGS
STARRING: JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS, TOBIAS MENZIES, MICHAELA WATKINS
DIRECTED BY: NICOLE HOLOFCENER
RATING: 3 ½ out of 4 stars
By Dan Pal
Is it better to be truthful or supportive? Sure, one can be both but what happens when someone you love says what they think and it hurts? That’s the basic premise behind You Hurt My Feelings, an enjoyable and thought-provoking new comedy from writer/director Nicole Holofcener, starring Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Tobias Menzies. Dreyfus plays Beth a writer and teacher who previously had some success with a memoir she wrote. Menzies plays her husband Don, a therapist unsure if he still has what it takes to counsel his patients. One day Don and his brother-in-law Mark (Succession’s Arian Moayed) are in New York when Beth and her sister Sarah (Michaela Watkins) stumble across them shoe shopping. Before they realize it, Beth and Sarah overhear Don saying he doesn’t like the new book of fiction Beth is currently trying to get published. This sends Beth running, deeply hurt, and believing that Don has been lying to her about liking her work all along.
This is not just about that one round of hurtful feelings. At the same time, characters are hurt by the words of students, patients, spouses, and directors. In fact, the entire film is filled people being hurt left and right. Great idea for a comedy film, right?! Well, actually it is. Holofcener finds the right balance between real feelings and witty dialogue. This is a film featuring people talking about how they feel. That might seem like a yawn to some but it’s actually quite insightful, entertaining, and, well, funny.
On the surface, this might feel a bit like a Woody Allen film set in New York with some Jewish characters, multiple perspectives, and a lot of walking and talking in Central Park. But this isn’t a film about infidelity (although one character is affected by this) or May-December romances but about real adult communication issues. It even references another great 1970s film about people and their interpersonal problems, Paul Mazursky’s An Unmarried Woman. Clearly Holofcener is not scared off by the lack of such films being made in Hollywood today for she delves into the genre with great depth and insight.
So, we go back to that question: Is it better to be truthful or supportive? The film suggests that we often respond both ways, particularly in a committed relationship. Beth and Don both give examples when they’ve been honest at times when loving support might have been more welcome. Sometimes it goes too far, as one character states that we’re always trying to overcome the damages of various types of verbal abuse. Beth, in particular, recalls dealing with her own parents in this regard. Sometimes, we just want our loved ones to be supportive. Let the critics be honest, right?! Related to this, Sarah is trying to find just the right light fixture for one of the clients for whom she is decorating a home. The client continually rejects the choices Sarah brings in to her living room. Of course, why shouldn’t she? If you’re paying for a service, you deserve to get what you want, right? The bottom line seems to be: support your friends and family regardless of what you think but be honest when you don’t have that sense of intimacy.
To explore all of this, Holofcener has assembled a great cast. Julia Louis-Dreyfus is satisfying in every way possible. She never strays too far from the approaches she has taken as Elaine on Seinfeld or Selina on Veep yet still has to express the hurt that Beth feels. Tobias Menzies (The Crown) is great as Don. His face reveals the uncertainty he experiences when providing therapy to his seemingly ungrateful patients. Michaela Watkins, Arian Moayed, and Owen Teague (as Beth and Don’s son Eliot) give fully felt comedic performances and there are some great cameos from David Cross, Amber Tamblyn, and Jeannie Berlin (as Beth’s mom.)
Ultimately, this is an enjoyable yet meaty film with a lot of interesting ideas. I hope you agree…and you should if you are a supportive family member or friend reading this…!
You Hurt My Feelings is now available to rent on Amazon Prime.
FILM: YOU HURT MY FEELINGS
STARRING: JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS, TOBIAS MENZIES, MICHAELA WATKINS
DIRECTED BY: NICOLE HOLOFCENER
RATING: 3 ½ out of 4 stars
By Dan Pal
Is it better to be truthful or supportive? Sure, one can be both but what happens when someone you love says what they think and it hurts? That’s the basic premise behind You Hurt My Feelings, an enjoyable and thought-provoking new comedy from writer/director Nicole Holofcener, starring Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Tobias Menzies. Dreyfus plays Beth a writer and teacher who previously had some success with a memoir she wrote. Menzies plays her husband Don, a therapist unsure if he still has what it takes to counsel his patients. One day Don and his brother-in-law Mark (Succession’s Arian Moayed) are in New York when Beth and her sister Sarah (Michaela Watkins) stumble across them shoe shopping. Before they realize it, Beth and Sarah overhear Don saying he doesn’t like the new book of fiction Beth is currently trying to get published. This sends Beth running, deeply hurt, and believing that Don has been lying to her about liking her work all along.
This is not just about that one round of hurtful feelings. At the same time, characters are hurt by the words of students, patients, spouses, and directors. In fact, the entire film is filled people being hurt left and right. Great idea for a comedy film, right?! Well, actually it is. Holofcener finds the right balance between real feelings and witty dialogue. This is a film featuring people talking about how they feel. That might seem like a yawn to some but it’s actually quite insightful, entertaining, and, well, funny.
On the surface, this might feel a bit like a Woody Allen film set in New York with some Jewish characters, multiple perspectives, and a lot of walking and talking in Central Park. But this isn’t a film about infidelity (although one character is affected by this) or May-December romances but about real adult communication issues. It even references another great 1970s film about people and their interpersonal problems, Paul Mazursky’s An Unmarried Woman. Clearly Holofcener is not scared off by the lack of such films being made in Hollywood today for she delves into the genre with great depth and insight.
So, we go back to that question: Is it better to be truthful or supportive? The film suggests that we often respond both ways, particularly in a committed relationship. Beth and Don both give examples when they’ve been honest at times when loving support might have been more welcome. Sometimes it goes too far, as one character states that we’re always trying to overcome the damages of various types of verbal abuse. Beth, in particular, recalls dealing with her own parents in this regard. Sometimes, we just want our loved ones to be supportive. Let the critics be honest, right?! Related to this, Sarah is trying to find just the right light fixture for one of the clients for whom she is decorating a home. The client continually rejects the choices Sarah brings in to her living room. Of course, why shouldn’t she? If you’re paying for a service, you deserve to get what you want, right? The bottom line seems to be: support your friends and family regardless of what you think but be honest when you don’t have that sense of intimacy.
To explore all of this, Holofcener has assembled a great cast. Julia Louis-Dreyfus is satisfying in every way possible. She never strays too far from the approaches she has taken as Elaine on Seinfeld or Selina on Veep yet still has to express the hurt that Beth feels. Tobias Menzies (The Crown) is great as Don. His face reveals the uncertainty he experiences when providing therapy to his seemingly ungrateful patients. Michaela Watkins, Arian Moayed, and Owen Teague (as Beth and Don’s son Eliot) give fully felt comedic performances and there are some great cameos from David Cross, Amber Tamblyn, and Jeannie Berlin (as Beth’s mom.)
Ultimately, this is an enjoyable yet meaty film with a lot of interesting ideas. I hope you agree…and you should if you are a supportive family member or friend reading this…!
You Hurt My Feelings is now available to rent on Amazon Prime.